Some months ago, I began following a bunch of people on Twitter that I called “The Young and the Ratchet”. They post funny stuff, ratchet stuff, and occasionally stuff that made me think. I wanted to be them. They, to me, epitomized “cool”.

In middle and high school I tended to watch the cool kids from afar. Even if I bought (or had my mom buy) all the brands they wore, hung out at all the places they hung out at, used the lingo they used, ate the food they ate, I knew at my core I would never be them. So I eventually gave up wanting that. I thought I had made peace with that and was happy being nerdy, quiet, socially awkward me. Until Twitter.

Since I’m better at expressing myself in print than verbally, I saw Twitter as my way to finally be cool. All I had to do was post enough witty quips or “shade” just the right people, and the “cool kids” would take notice.

But since I started my remodeling project, wanting to be like them doesn’t reconcile well with wanting to be closer to God. There was a reason I couldn’t be a cool kid when I was a kid: the cool kids often did things I wasn’t comfortable with as a Christian. I had lost sight of that in my adulthood.  I am regaining that sight. Yesterday in church, we talked about Lot’s wife and how looking back at Sodom as she and her family were fleeing its destruction caused her to be turned into a pillar of salt. I began to question, “is holding onto my ratchet list a type of looking back?” I didn’t want to become a pillar of salt.

So I unfollowed all of those people in one swoop. I thought it would be hard, but it really wasn’t. It is time to cling to what is going to bring me peace in my spirit, not to the guilty pleasures of my carnal spirit. I know I will be the better for it, just like I was in high school.